10 insights about "heated arguments"

A few days ago I was a witness to an adult argument (read: childish argument between adults)...
It was an ugly heated argument between two women at the age of 50/60, who don't really like each other. I won't repeat what has been said...
However I kept thinking about all the things about arguments my mum has taught me.
I find these insights very helpful to remember when I notice I'm about to argue (I only argue with my sister though x])
So, I decided to share them! =)

1. An argument is always 2 (or more) people's fault.
One can't argue by him/herself. "(S)he started..." is just a prelude to "and I continued." If the other doesn't respond to it in a heated way, it can never turn into an argument, it'll just stay a nasty comment.

2. One can't make the other do/think/stop something.
At some point in an ugly heated argument someone will tell the other to stop the arguing or question the other why (s)he doesn't stop. This has absolutely no use, it will only cause another response.

3. One cannot win an argument, ever!
It doesn't matter how many times one repeats their opinion in whatever new way, the other will never fully (or even partially) admit to agree.

4. Everyone talks, but nobody really listens.
Yes, they'll listens to each other's words, just to find something to disagree on next...

5. Rooted irritation surfaces.
Really heated arguments usually aren't because the topic of their argument is so dear to them. It usually is fueled by irritations that finally come to burst in confrontation. It can be a certain attitude one can't stand from the other or earlier events that caused the other to get irritated.

6. The last word is the word of the "winner".
And so the argument will turn into a battle of the last word. The results will be ugly and they'll say mean things that they don't mean.

7. Physical fighting is a sign of fear.
When one feels likely to lose the "battle of the last word", they might use physical strength to claim their dominance in the argument.

8. Calling names is also a sign of fear.
However, besides it being a display of dominance (by humiliating the other) out of fear, it can also be some sort of reassurance of having the last word and being the "winner". This is an illusion however, because calling names will definitely urge the other to respond.

9. Adults in heated arguments lose their dignity.
When adults fight in an ugly, childish way, their dignity is completely ruined in the face of the onlookers and each other. They'll just look ridiculous and should know better than to behave in such a immature way.

10. There is no satisfaction.
Although it might feel releasing at first, it will be gone in the end. Even when the other "loses" by crying or withdrawing, the "winner" won't feel like a winner. Instead, they'll feel like a dignity-deprived, guilty loser.

The best thing to do when you're in an argument; just stop arguing when you notice the other (or you) is heated. Although it's a tough thing to do, stop talking. If you can do that, start searching for agreements on the topic and comment on those. =)
In an argument we easily forget the things we agree on and hammer instead on the things we disagree on, making it look like there's no agreement at all.

=D But best of all: don't argue~ ^^ ♥

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

New keyboard options ㅅ_ㅅ

Oh wow! =D I found out something crazily cool~ ^ㅡ^v
I found out I can do even more with my Korean keyboard =D
The thing is, with the key control comes an option to draw the letter / hangul character / hanja character and then the letter I'm looking for appears and I can immediately add it to whatever I was typing! °^一^°
Oh, and look:
웇 = girl
유 = boy

Haha! ^▼^ I'm such a dork~

ㅅ_ㅅ Just wanted to share my happiness~ :)

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Hangul Keyboard!!!

Woah~ Am so happy right now~ ^-^

Maybe you still remember a post from me about wanting to be able to type in the Korean script? (Probably not xD)
Well, I finally got my wish! :)
Haha, if I had known it then, I could have typed in Hangul years earlier already! xP
The thing is, I finally learned how to do that, with just a simple adjustment to my Windows settings (pretty easy!)...

And now I can freely switch between Hangul and ABC, with just the ALT on the right side of my keyboard x)

아싸~! =D

Oh, and I bought glowing stickers for on my keyboard~ ^ㅡ^v
^w^" I'm still waiting for my stickers to come to me~ xD (They're being shipped... o_O)

♥

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Wrap it up~ =9

^^ I have this delicious wrap recipe!! =9
My mum made this a few months ago, and I want to share it with you, because it was super delicious!! =D

What you need have:
Food:
~♥ Wraps (as many as you wish)
~♥ Smoked salmon (slices)
~♥ Garlic butter, or cream cheese with herbs/garlic
~♥ Cucumber
~♥ Roasted pine nuts
~♥ Green pesto

Utensils:
~♥ Flat cooking pan
~♥ Knive to cut the cucumber
~♥ Flat plate to cut on
~♥ Spoons for the garlic butter, pesto and (if you need to) the pine nuts

What you need to do:
Preparation:
1) Get every ingredient / utensil steady! xP
2) Cut the salmon in slices (if that's not been done already).
3) Cut the cucumber horizontally, so that long strips are formed. Cut these so that strips of about 10 centimeter (4 inches) are formed. Whether you peel the skin off first, later or not, that's up to you! ;)

Wrap it up~:
1) Warm the wraps in the flat pan for a few seconds so they are nicely warm.
2) Put some garlic butter (or cream cheese) on the wrap. No need to be modest about the amount, just put it on! ;)
3) Put one or two slices of smoked salmon on it.
4) Add two strips of cucumber to it.
5) Spread 3 tea spoons of green pesto on the wrap.
6) Decorate the wrap with roasted pine nuts and wrap it up! =)

Have a nice meal! =D
♥

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

First party as a "University Student" ^-^

Haha! Tonight's going to be my first real party as a university student!
I don't know why that feels like something big, but I just wanted to blog about it.

So, here's the situation: I'm sitting in my room now, about to pack my bag. At 9:15 PM I've agreed with a friend to meet, so we can dump my stuff at her place and head to the party. =) The party in question is a birthday party of two guys from our study association. Almost 60 people are going to come to the party! x) It's crazy!!

I'll see lots of friends I made at the Tanuki camp again! It's going to be very nice, I think! (I don't know the right word for it; "nice" seems inferior, "great" sounds sarcastic, "fantastic" sounds fake, if not sarcastic as well...). The party will be held until 5:00 AM! I don't think I'll stay right to the end, though. I know I can, but it's just too late. xP Anyway, got to pack my bag now!

Oh, about getting drunk... I won't! x) Never been either! ^^ But maybe I'll have a little something, not beer thought, I find that nasty...

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Last day of my internship!

Yesterday was the 'go away party' of my internship!
After 3 months of inspiring work, the time has come to start a new chapter in my life...
Goodbye WOVOX (the company I had my internship at), goodbye MIC, goodbye Higher Education...

...but: Hello University, hello Koreastudies!

Anyway, to get back to the thing I wanted to talk about.
Besides my goodbye party, it was also the co-founder's birthday yesterday. He wasn't present that day, but we were going to do a lipdub for his birthday...
I had no idea what a lipdub was either, but I'll explain it now.
The point in a lipdub is that you do what the lyrics say and you lipsync along with it.

Example: the lyrics are 'I love you'. You make a heart sign and pretend to sing 'I love you' xP

Here's our lipdub clip! =P

Ah, by the way, it's me with the big 'we celebrate'-canvas with ducklings on it! =)

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Introduction of my new study!

Today I went to my new study's introduction day!! =D
As you may already know, I switched studies and my new study is "Korean studies".
Shortly explained: I'll learn the Korean language, the culture, the history, the literature and the traditions.

On Tanuki (that's the study association) camp I already got to know 3 Korean students (we were the only 4 that attended the camp).
Today I found out we're with 22 in total, of which I have already befriended 5. =)
The other 3/4 of my classmates I haven't spoken to, because there was no time at all to get to know them.

During the introduction day (which was actually an introduction hour) our 5 teachers introduced themselves and explained what the first semester was going to bring us. They answered questions we had and gave us info about our schedule. One of our teachers is a native speaker and I really look forward to the language lessons!! =D

And the most amazing thing I heard today? We (the whole class, so all 22 Korean students) are going to Korea for half a year, in our sophomore year!!! =^-^=
This is going to be AWESOME!

♥

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Tanuki Camp!

Whuuuuuuuuut?

:)

On the 24th of this month I'm going on introduction camp with my study association! =)

Actually some things have changed during the past months, I switched studies once again. I stopped doing MIC (Media, Information and Communication) and I used my first year diploma to apply for University! =D I'm now going to study Koreastudies at the University of Leiden! *big smile that can't be erased*

To get back to the topic of this post, I also registered at a study association, called Tanuki. It's for students from Korean- and Japanese studies. Tanuki has organized a camp for students to get to know each other and to have a good start of their study! =)

I've visited Tanuki's site and seen some photos of the camps of previous years and it looks like a lot of fun! =D I can't wait to go!

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

The Black Market~!

^-^ I'm soo looking forward to my birthday on the 2nd of June~
Saturday (the 4th of June), I'm going to Beverwijk with my friends (to celebrate), to the Bazaar, which is an Oriental black market! =D

You know what that means~ *hint, hint*

Okay, so maybe you don't...
^^ Anyway, I'll be searching for Korean black bean paste and other ingredients to make Jjajangmyeon~! =D
Haha, yep! It's the first Korean dish I'll try and I'm kinda nervous!
...Too bad there's no Korean market anywhere near my place (Beverwijk is pretty far away) （︶︿︶）

So I hope I can find my ingredients! xD The Bazaar is really nice anyway~!
I'll blog about it soon! (If I don't forget!)
Maybe I'll have photos to share too! (If I don't forget that either!)

Bye for now~ ♥

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Simplicity and Complexity

Two words which are, in my opinion, very important in human life.
I think we have to be able to live simple, without long kept grudges in our heart or feelings of apathy that are consistently present. A simple life with a simple set of mind. To love what comes your way and to accept the suffering that's on your path of life. Like that, not to forget, but to accept. When accepted something, you'll be able to get past it, to move on. As for discussions and fights, be simple, forgive the other and don't hold a grudge, for you can't ever be the same with that person if you don't make up and forgive (of course you can pretend, but that ruins your sincerity and your simplicity).

As for complexity, which in itself is of course more complex and therefore more difficult to appoint to your life in a single sentence. However, I'll try my best to explain what I think. And that is, that we should be very thoughtful about what we do and what we say. A certain complexity is important. We shouldn't just go about and let our emotions and our desires, our sympathetic and apathetic feelings, our fears and the opinions of the people surrounding us rule our actions. If all the above should not, what should rule our actions then? you might want to know. Well, (excuse my opinion if yours is different) I think it is your conscience (complexity) and your love(simplicity).

By conscience I mean your sense of right or wrong. Everybody (in general, I'm leaving out the exceptions here) has a conscience that tells him/her what is good to do and what is not. Sometimes it gets difficult to follow your conscience, because you feel you have to do something that you find scary, or that'll hurt your pride, or that you just dislike. When following your conscience, you'll find that it won't tell you how. E.g. when you need to speak or write to someone for a certain reason, it won't translate the thoughts you want to transfer into words. However, when you do start writing, you will know (through your conscience) whether the sentence you put down will come off the way you planned them to (mostly, because it depends on the other's set of mind too).

By love I mean your sense of appreciation for your surroundings. The people, but also their creations and nature itself. To recognize the wonders that happen everyday under your very nose. To realize what beauty lies in the small things. A cat crawling through high grass, a small boy running in circles, the sound of rain and thunder, a construction worker eating his lunch from a box. It's all nothing out of the ordinary, but in some sense it is special, perhaps even precious. Just like that, we should simply love, appreciate the world, in my opinion.

As a Christian, it comes natural to love everything, for I believe all is made by God. And if I love God, shouldn't I love everything that has come from His hands as well? I can understand that for non-religious people this is no argument, of course, but if the world is not beautiful and worthy to cherish, can you tell me one thing that is completely unworthy of appreciation? I can't.

Of course it is rather ridiculous to walk around and stare at the clouds in wonderment, but I think we should not forget what beauty is surrounding us every day.
I see it like this. When you have a good friend, you won't go about telling everyone what great a friend that person is, and neither would you watch that friend in amazement from day to day. No, you don't do that with a friend. You take care of your friend, adore your friend, you like all the good qualities and accept all the flaws. And once in a while you think back of your friendship with that person and be thankful for everything. All the while you haven't forgotten to appreciate your good relationship. That is how it should be with friends, but also with the rest of the world.

~~~~~~

^-^ Quite a long piece of mind. x] I got inspired by a book called "The Elegance of the Hedgehog", written by Muriël Barbery. It is translated from French by Alison Anderson. Barbery has used lots of philosophy in her book. "The Elegance of the Hedgehog" is mostly consistent of conversations and thoughts within the main characters about art, intelligence and life in general. If you want to read something that is more than a story, something that brings you a different and refreshing look on life (and a good laugh once in a while!), I definitely recommend this book to you! =]

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Creative writing~ ^-^

A few months ago (wow, time flies fast!) I posted about a course in creative writing...
Well, since I have had several lessons already (next week is already the last lesson), I realized I should write about it because I haven't even mentioned it! (shame on me! xD)

So, here I am, writing about writing again =P (meta-writing, I think you could call it that, LOL)
*sigh* So, where should I start?

First of all, I really enjoyed the lessons, although I had a somewhat different expectation of it all. x] Actually, I thought it would be more like the lessons I got from my teacher at the Dutch creative writing course... but they were different. At the first lesson, our teacher handed out a sheet on which all the homework assignments/exercises were explained. In the Dutch course we always got the assignment for the coming lesson during the current lesson. In the International course we also give more feedback on each other's story. Because everyone gives feedback one by one, there's over 10 different views on your story, which is great, because no story is bad nor good, however it can improve so that more people like it. The previous lesson (and the upcoming last lesson) were/are held in the personal art studio of our teacher, complete with glasses of wine and large pillows! xD Isn't that stylish? Haha, the atmosphere is really good~! ^0^ I have started to like red wine! =0

Then, of course, what it's all about. I know that (since I talk about writing) you would like to know what I've been writing then... Well~ That's actually quite a lot.
Let's start with an assignment (which was the first assignment during the first lesson). For the assignment our teacher had the group split in two. I was in the first group and we had to observe the body language of someone from the other group. We would make duos and then begin a conversation to get to know the other person by asking questions and while having that conversation we had to watch the other's body language. Then we had to write a 100-word piece based on the body language (that was the assignment for group 1, group 2 had a different assignment, but I forgot...). Actually, it turned out rather unimaginative, and a little embarrassing even... I have read it aloud in the group, but I'm not confident enough to post it, so I won't (believe me, it's not worth reading either...)

Anyway, my latest story was a big success! =D I wrote a creepy story about a girl who becomes more peculiar as the story goes, and a boy who just can't leave her alone...
^-^ You can read it here (opens in a new window).
The story is called Four Rivers. The poster I made for it shows the mysterious feeling of the story very well (I think). I hope you'll read the story, I'll soon edit it, because I've gotten some useful critics when I read it in last lesson.

I'll be back~! ;D

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Food jokes from a drama I forgot

^^ I'm back~!

So, I was cleaning up my room... and threw a lot out... and then I came across some jokes I had jotted down after seeing a movie...
I have absolutely no clue about which movie it was (believe me I tried for hours to find it, but till this moment I haven't found it). The movie was about a young female that was going on a blind date with a man while she absolutely didn't feel like it. The man cracked some jokes and she was less than slightly interested. Later in the story she meets him again and things change. She was drunk or something and she started hitting on him and I don't know what exactly happened anymore... xP

I do know that the jokes he told her were funny enough then to write down! xD
Here they are:
~ What did the strawberry say to the blueberry? I love you berry berry much.
~ Why does a lost man in the desert still survives? Because of all the sand which is there.
~ Why did the lettuce blush? Because he saw the salad dressing.

^-^ Hehe, I think these jokes are pretty common and perhaps well-known already... LOL, but I did hear them first when I saw that movie.
Btw, if someone knows the title of this movie (because of my poor description, I doubt it), please don't hesitate and tell me in a comment! =]

Haha, it was fun, I guess, now I have to continue my homework... -____________-

Ciao~ ^-^ ♥

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Fun with old friends

Waaah~! =]
^^" Long time no blog post from me, eh?
Not much has happened though... xD
Well I did get in touch with my best friend from high school (from the first 4 years)...

I think I've got some explaining to do first, though. xP
I actually had 6 years of high school, divided into 2 parts, first 4 years, than a year of professional Recreation and Tourism education and then another 2 years of high school (higher level than the 4 years before) and now I'm in my 2nd year of professional Media, Information and Communication education (also a higher level than recreation and tourism)..

As I was saying, I got in touch with my high school best friend Liset from the first 4 years. Together with Eef, who I also know from those 4 years, we've been to "De Meester", a place where various local bands were playing. =]
Afterwards we went to a local pub and I drank my first full glass of beer xD (I don't like it, that's why I never drink it, but this time it was already ordered, so I had to, but I still don't like it! LOL) We were actually with a large group, because one of the bands were Lis and Eef's friends...
It was very nice, I had a lot of fun, I also ran into two guys (Emilio and Alex) I knew from the other 2 years at high school! xD
Afterwards I stayed over at Lisette's house and it was just like old times again. =) Now we're chatting on msn again, just like there hasn't even been a gap! x]
I'm really happy about that! ^-^
Haha, here's a picture of us two, when we were out, eating with the class. =)


Anyways, that's it for now~! =] ♥
I'll be back when I have time and something to blog about!
Adios~

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Fun conversation! =]

^-^ I'll just ignore the fact that it's Valentine's Day, since I haven't received/given anything anyway, so... x-x"

Yesterday, my dad celebrated his 55th birthday with family! ^-^
It was fun! Family from both sides came together (we had no karaoke!) and it was very nice to see my cousins again! =D (I have two male cousins and one female cousin).

Since there's quite an age difference (I'm 20 and my cousins are 11, 13 and almost 14) we settled for a board game but ended up drawing. It was fun, not so much because of the drawing, but because we always tell each other fun things and because we joke around a lot. ^-^

Anyway, when we had Goulash soup, we had a fun conversation:

Maurice (my cousin): What type of meat is in this soup?
Me: ^-^ Chicken, no I mean cow
Maurice: Oh~ Do you know where the soup is from, it doesn't sound Dutch...
Me: Ehmmm, I don't know, I though India...
My mum: No, it's from Hungary.
Maurice: Haha, I figured it wasn't from India... Cows... Holy... *hint, hint*
Everybody who heard and me: HAHA~! *LOL/ROFL/LM(F)AO*

Yup, had lots of fun~... ^ー^ㆀ

Now, let's hope tomorrow will bring fun again~! (^ー°)v
┓━ㆀ If not, I'm gonna cry!!! T____Tㆀ

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Another School Outing~!! =]

Hi everyone~! ~^-^~

Today was one of those typically different days...
You know, those days that just feel a little special and you keep feeling that way for the entire day.
Yep, that kind of day was today! ^^

The thing is, today I went to the Central Book House in Culemborg! ^-^ It was magical~ haha!... no seriously, it was really impressive! (=
The Central Book House is actually literally translated from Dutch, since there isn't really a translation available, due to the unique function.
As you probably know, books are made in a special factory, from which they'll be transported/sold to book shops. In many countries the book shops buy from those factories and the factories deliver straight to that book shop (or it's mother shop). In the Netherlands that process of transport and selection is organized in one central point in the country, which is the Central Book House.
In the CBH there are millions of books! As you can guess, it's huge! o_O
Unfortunately it's prohibited to take pictures, so I have no pics to share...

The CBH is actually a storage terrain that consists out of 5 buildings. I've been in the main storage room. There's this immense storage hall with a ground space the size of half a soccer field! It's also 30 meters high and operated with 5 automatic robots that store and take out pallets of books (fully automatic!) When there's an order the robots gather the pallets without anyone pushing any button!! That was really amazing to see! Those robots were massive and moved very quickly and precise.

Further more CBH had a whole system for efficiently packaging the different orders with books of different factories. Those machines kind of resembled rollercoasters with all the books sliding and rolling on the factory's treadmill... xD They yet had to do loopings! Haha, that was cheesy, I know ^^

I have one conclusion:
If you truly love books, you shouldn't work in the Central Book House... because when you're packing books all day, chances are big you have seen more than enough books to read one when you're off work! =] By the way, working at the CBH is (without being offence) quite killing for your mind, plus, it's physically tiring and you work in loud surroundings. So, not something for me, but it IS very nice to see where all the books I've bought have once been! x]

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria