The benefits of an LDR (Long Distance Relationship)

Long distance relationships, or in internet abbreviation: LDRs, are probably among the most challenging romantic relationship types. You can meet quite a lot of skepticism from family and friends, especially when you have never actually met each other. What is worse, friends and family often seem to feel more obliged to warn and judge than they would when you're in a regular relationship, some of them might even refuse to take it serious. In addition to the lack of physical contact, the waiting on replies and the eventual meeting, the time differences and (in the event of a break-up) the coldness of a devastating message/mail, you could start to wonder why people would ever agree to try an LDR... Well, love is done with the heart and the heart doesn't make decisions based on logic. ;) However, here are some of the benefits of an LDR as opposed to a regular relationship.

♡ - Communication goes deep from even the initial stage in the relationship, because you are limited in other areas of bonding.
♡ - In order to maintain your relationship, you will have to go beyond the superficial. Whereas the regular couple has a higher risk of making body contact the main factor in their relationship and meanwhile silence deeper communication.
♡ - A controlling lover doesn't last long in an LDR; it is just impossible to control someone else's life from a distance. Therefore LDRs won't get you stranded in a controlling relationship (as easily).
♡ - Physical abuse is also impossible in an LDR. This however is no garantee for when you meet. It is a higher risk to date LDR, but not a higher risk of meeting physically abusive people.
♡ - LDRs require a lot of trust. It can be a real challenge to maintain the bond of trust, but when a healthy base of trust is established, it will be a stronghold in your LDR! Good mutual trust will be the source of strength in the struggle.
♡ - LDRs give you the freedom to spend your days where you want. You are not required to stay at your partners side, meet with them at their workplace or hang out when you want to stay in. LDRs enable you to take them with you to where you are, in the sense that calling or texting them can be done anywhere you go.

I realize there is a big difference between being in an LDR with someone you have met and with someone you have never met in person. The latter brings with them much more doubts and uncertainties, but a good LDR is definitely possible! :)

Remember to always be cautious when you meet someone new and think well before you send them private information or visuals. I recommened to never send anyone naked photos ever! The potential damage is huge and the risk is great, and the advantage is not even for you. (Just a reminder in light of the Tilburg photo leak case, in which students at a school became victims on instagram of their own stupidity...)

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Romance

I want to have a slow relationship which lasts until forever.
Not immediately, but when the time comes, I just want my guy to be there.
I want to fall in love slowly with a person who is not a Men's Health cover kind of guy.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and true beauty comes from inside.

When I fall in love I want us to be friends already, not strangers.
I want to fall in love with his soul and have butterflies giggling.
I'd tell him I don't mind if he'll grow bald at 27 or if his skin is scarred and sensitive.
Our relationship should be an oasis among the storms and the deserts of loneliness.

I want to feel freed by his presence and laugh into the sun.
No pressure to be someone or to keep a conversation on the roll.
I want to share my life, hopes, dreams, sorrows and all the rollercoasters I have and will be in.
We can laugh at silly things together or have deep conversations over coffee.
An unspoken but substantial trust and a bond so deep we understand the other at a glance.

I want to have a slow relationship with solid grounds and endless dreamy skies.
And the whole world shall be a field of flowers to walk in together.
I want to hold hands and share soft kisses on the cheeks.
Then when we dance to imaginative music, I want to whisper "I love you".
That, to me, is true romance.

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

5 Love Languages

Some time ago I found this interesting article.
As you may have guessed from earlier posts, I'm quite interested in the human mind and psyche. Not surprisingly I want to talk about this psychological article! =)

Apparently there are 5 love languages. Generally people "speak" one of the following 5 languages:

1. Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

2. Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

3. Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

4. Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

5. Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

One of the ways to make a relationship work is learning to speak the other's love language.

My love language is something between Quality Time and Physical Touch. I absolutely love back hugs! And dancing is definitely something I want to do with my future boyfriend (unless of course he can't or has no interest). To me it wouldn't matter just what we do, as long as we see each other regularly. I don't need to hear "I love you" every time, as long as I feel it through actions and attention. I'm not so much a kisser, but I love holding hands and hugs ^-^
Ah, and the atmosphere should be playful and full of purpose, not heavy with romance... x) I guess I'm cheesy, not romantic.

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Source: 5 Love languages