1001 Books To Read Before You Die

Hello internet! =)

It is probably not a secret that I love to read books, and that these books often are among what are generally accepted as 'the classics'. And occasionally I read absolute rubbish too... LOL

Therefore, this post may not come as a surprise x') As it is basically the perfectly idiotic fusion of my ADHD brain's challenge-accepted-tendency and my love for books. By now it must be clear that I am indeed interested in reading the following 1001(+) books. LOL.

The original list is copied from here. As the list is actually published much like a catalog by a real publisher and then revised a few times, some titles have an 'a' or 'b' added. These a's and b's are revisions from 2008 and 2010 respectively.
*NOTE: I CHANGED THIS POST because I was kind of fed up with keeping both this post and this list (click to go to my list page). I posted my list in an extra page, so that when, if, this post would ever descend in obscurity within my blog (which will gradually happen as I post more) there will be more ease for me to find my list =) And that made me decide in the end just to get rid of the list in my blog roll...

So there we are =) *Goes to read some more*

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~ *~Maria

I have ADHD... Yay! x'D

Hello world~ ^-^

First of all, what a long time it has been! And second, it feels good to write here again~ =D
Just a quick update on my life: bachelor thesis submitted, master proposal accepted, found a temporary job, confirmed to have AD(H)D and still a happy single. xP

The first half of 2017 was definitely an amazing time with a lot of positive changes! Oh by the way, I also started learning Hantcha again (Chinese characters used for Korean literature). Today however, I want to take some time and talk to you (or write, hah hah) about a more serious topic; ADHD. There are many stereotypical ideas about ADHD and many of these ideas are not even true. One of these ideas is that ADHD is not a medical condition at all. The truth is, that it is very complicated... Just know that ADHD as of today is accepted as a medical condition and is actually one of the most researched conditions. Even though experts may know a lot about ADHD, the general public tends to stick with the stereotype. So let's break with the stereotype and get some real knowledge instead! ;)

I was going to write a sort of article here, but why not just watch this video in which it all gets explained! =)

And... this one: hehe, this one has some additional facts and stuff.

Basically any one of these is good to watch, because it will give a clear idea about ADHD and ADD and that is all that matters to me right now, regarding ADHD awareness =')

Anyhow, my own experience with getting diagnosed with ADHD is that I have found so many aspects of my life to become explained. For example why I had such a slow working pace at school, while I could be really quick too, and why I had a high IQ, but studied at low level. Being 'too playful' or 'too little interested' just didn't explain it well enough. And this is just one of the dozen things I have recognized about myself in recent months. It is just amazing how much more sense everything makes now! =) Next week I will begin the journey to find the right medicine and hopefully I will get more of the things I really want to do done!

And really, ADHD is one of my assets I realized because ADHD comes with creativity and fast thinking as well as the ability to empathize well. Both of these will help me when I decide to start writing my book! (which will be, soonish...) x')

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~ *~Maria

So much going onnn~~

Ugh... Long time no type... How have you all been doing? =')

Well, I have been doing... a lot. or actually, not that much?

Lately I've been working on my Bachelor's thesis (again, you say? Nope, still...) I think I finally got something good now. And if not, it will not be much of a difference. This year will be the last try (not because I can't do another try, but because 3 times should be enough to prove I can't?)
However, I won't bother you with the academic topic x'P it's something with Korean fairy tales, the female hero's masculinity and a structuralist analysis x') If you'd be interested...
This year my university changed its program for writing a thesis. We have to follow a supporting class, which helps structure the process of writing and helps with peer evaluation.
Anyhow, let's forget that I ever wanted to do an MA study~ ㅋㅋㅋ

Apart from my thesis, I'm still doing a reading challenge in Goodreads... (And a crazily high record as well; 65 books, but I'm hoping to even get it to 72 books, currently read 47...). I might leave it alone at a certain point. (I MUST if my thesis shall command it).

I do have something to look forwards to once I graduated (or when the academic year is over). I'm given a chance to do volunteer work in Indonesia, on the island of Flores. I will stay there either with some Catholic nuns or with the brother of my church's priest and his family. =) This brother is said to want to start a business in tourism and he's looking for people to work with. As I have briefly studied tourism, I might be able to do some paid work for him too (but I can't be sure beforehand). Anyhow, the opportunity is already way awesome!! =D

Less good news is that my laptop is showing serious failure... *sad face* When I start up, it usually beeps and doesn't boot. The second try gives me the option to start normally or to repair. If I start normally it is alright. Besides the starting issue, I have a constant red X on my battery icon, with the warning that I might want to change my battery. And last but definitely not least (unless least pleasant) is that my keyboard starts typing '''' at intervals (ranging between 30 secs - 5 min). I guess I should start saving for a new laptop now...

AND MY SISTER AND HER BOYFRIEND ARE ENGAGED!!! =D

And I have a hybrid bike with which I have already made quite a few long bicycle trips. I'm planning to ride 70 km with it soon! =) So far I've been riding almost every day (unless it was raining).

As you can read, a lot of things are going on in my life at the moment. =) Ha!~ Well, at least my love life is very quiet now... (: And I'm happy about that. It's time to graduate, I can't have a divided mind atm.
Speaking of which, I've contacted my doctor and will be going through some testing for ADHD soon... =/ I've always had a terrible attention span, a very busy mind with deep (or so I felt them to be) thoughts and a working pace so slow they thought I was mentally lost in Narnia. I did some research about ADHD and wow, they're all just talking about me... =P

Oh, and lest I forget, I'm going to write a book! =D I have a great idea, and I'm determined to write it, I just have to figure out when x')

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Indonesian Drama Quick Escalation...

I hardly ever watch (Indonesian) drama movies, although I used to watch Korean dramas in the past. Anyway, for some reason I decided to watch an Indonesian drama movie when I came across one on youtube... (I know, youtube-quality, horrible choice for watching movies! At least it was not divided in parts...)

At first it was about a girl, named Cinta, who met a boy by chance. His name was Arkana and he was trying to break through in music / radio. (or something like that, because I watched without English subtitles and my Indonesian is not very strong).
Very typical, very innocent.

Suddenly it turned out the girl's father had a speech impairment and didn't have a wife (anymore?). Then the boy his parents turned out not to be living together but his (step?)dad came (back?) living with them. Arkana didn't accept this. Fights.

Arkana and Cinta meet up secretly, Cinta's dad finds out, relationship not accepted. Suddenly Cinta is not only motherless, but also actually an adopted child. Her dad now hates Arkana as he sees her being kissed (on the cheek).

Cinta secretly goes to meet mother of Arkana, father of Arkana shows up, family fight. Suddenly Cinta gets an unexplained bleeding nose and later faints and is hospitalized. Cinta breaks up with Arkana (I think?) One day Arkana runs after car with Cinta in it (very typical) and gets hit by a motorcyclist (even more typical).

Cinta needs more hospitalization, meanwhile Arkana develops health issues too.
Then Cinta goes through a big operation and heals, but Arkana has passed away during her recovery due to complications during his operation... Say what?!

That escalated way too far, and too quickly too, because the movie isn't even 75 minutes long! By the way, the movie was called "Seandainya".

Secretly I enjoy movies like this though. Not because of the story, the (rather poor) movie quality, the music or even the actors, I simply like it because it is spoken in Indonesian... :') If it was spoken in English or Dutch I wouldn't spend any time on them. It just gives me such a kick when I understand parts of the things they say! :D

Anyway, this movie has been more than enough drama for me for at least three months! xP

The benefits of an LDR (Long Distance Relationship)

Long distance relationships, or in internet abbreviation: LDRs, are probably among the most challenging romantic relationship types. You can meet quite a lot of skepticism from family and friends, especially when you have never actually met each other. What is worse, friends and family often seem to feel more obliged to warn and judge than they would when you're in a regular relationship, some of them might even refuse to take it serious. In addition to the lack of physical contact, the waiting on replies and the eventual meeting, the time differences and (in the event of a break-up) the coldness of a devastating message/mail, you could start to wonder why people would ever agree to try an LDR... Well, love is done with the heart and the heart doesn't make decisions based on logic. ;) However, here are some of the benefits of an LDR as opposed to a regular relationship.

♡ - Communication goes deep from even the initial stage in the relationship, because you are limited in other areas of bonding.
♡ - In order to maintain your relationship, you will have to go beyond the superficial. Whereas the regular couple has a higher risk of making body contact the main factor in their relationship and meanwhile silence deeper communication.
♡ - A controlling lover doesn't last long in an LDR; it is just impossible to control someone else's life from a distance. Therefore LDRs won't get you stranded in a controlling relationship (as easily).
♡ - Physical abuse is also impossible in an LDR. This however is no garantee for when you meet. It is a higher risk to date LDR, but not a higher risk of meeting physically abusive people.
♡ - LDRs require a lot of trust. It can be a real challenge to maintain the bond of trust, but when a healthy base of trust is established, it will be a stronghold in your LDR! Good mutual trust will be the source of strength in the struggle.
♡ - LDRs give you the freedom to spend your days where you want. You are not required to stay at your partners side, meet with them at their workplace or hang out when you want to stay in. LDRs enable you to take them with you to where you are, in the sense that calling or texting them can be done anywhere you go.

I realize there is a big difference between being in an LDR with someone you have met and with someone you have never met in person. The latter brings with them much more doubts and uncertainties, but a good LDR is definitely possible! :)

Remember to always be cautious when you meet someone new and think well before you send them private information or visuals. I recommened to never send anyone naked photos ever! The potential damage is huge and the risk is great, and the advantage is not even for you. (Just a reminder in light of the Tilburg photo leak case, in which students at a school became victims on instagram of their own stupidity...)

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Back on the road!

So, for the last month I've been pretty down actually.
It's just not easy to make changes to your life, when all you actually want is to go back in time. x')

Well, I can't go back in time, I'll just have to accept that, which has cost me about 2 months time already. Finally it feels like I'm getting some rest from the pain and the reminiscence! So I'm changing my life! ^-^

Study
I'm so close to graduating for my BA!! =D Actually I'm missing 25 ECTS (of which 5 are in the process of getting processed, haha crazy language)! The only thing I have to do now is write my dissertation and translate 1,5 article. *Happy~!*
I plan on finishing my work before my next birthday, and in that way I plan to "start my new year as a BA-owner" ^-^ *yay~*
Translations are going fine, but my dissertation is quite a pain in the a**. My supervisor is very nice though! ;) I heard stories of annoying supervisors who are absent, don't understand their subjects or cause more trouble and distress than progress, so I'm a lucky girl! ;)

Discipline
Close related to studying is of course my discipline. And I've got to be honest, I'm still not entirely disciplined, although I'm full force fighting it! Actually, I used to wake up at 11 AM and go to sleep at 2 AM. I'd constantly play with my phone, watch YT-videos or read books (latter is not that bad ;)). These days however I mostly get up at 7 or 8 AM (!) and then work productively all morning and midday and in the evening read or check social networks, before I go to sleep at 11 PM (!). ^^ I have to say, I get soooo much more done! However, it's not easy! I still fight with myself every morning and evening. And some mornings I just don't feel like doing anything. Even if I got up, I can't get much work done at all. So that needs some improvement (I'm guessing it will get easier as I continue doing it, also because I feel depressed in the mornings due to the unfortunate happenings of 2 months ago ㅠㅠ).

Korea / Future Plans
Although it will probably hang on my mind for the entire year, I will not go to Korea before the entire 2015 has passed. I can't afford it and I want to make sure I build up a stable future. Hence I will spend my year in my own country, I'll get my BA-degree, enroll for a Masters course and work a part-time job to save up money. If I'm lucky enough I will have a chance to spend most of 2016 in Korea for my MA-degree. These are the big lines I've drawn now, but I'm going to keep my eyes open and focus on the things I can do right now. The future will come as it comes.

So that's it, I'm working on myself. ^-^ I'll be the best version of me there is! ;)

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Shun the emotional, activate the rational

The time has come for me to actually write my thesis. (And the deadline is A LOT faster than I thought, A LOT I say!)

From today on, I have about 30 days to compose my first version and then another month to revise that version and shaping it into my final thesis.

I'm so excited to write a master bachelors piece about Korean fairy tales and to finally put my efforts into creating something I can be proud of. Yet, I'm also terrified of losing spirit and drowning in the amount of literature I started to work through. An added fear is the knowledge that I'll have to write in English rather than Dutch (my native language). Although I know my level of English proficiency is okay when I speak / write informally, but I'm not sure about my academic writing skills in the English language; it might just be very awkward and a little out of my comfort zone (I write on feeling and experience by reading, not on actual knowledge of spelling rules).

Anyhow, with the deadlines approaching and the work load being not so little, I'll probably not blog for a while. The same goes for pretty much everything in my life. I will not have time for personal relationships (except the family and Church), for dreams and future planning, for philosophical thinking, for hobbies like reading/writing/playing piano, for entertainment and everything other than my thesis, my food and my sleep (and hygiene ;])... So until Christmas, regard me as a hedgehog in hibernation, while I'm preparing for world domination my graduation. ^-^

Byebye~!!! Wish me luck!!! =D

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Friday the 13th; total opposite of bad luck!

On Friday the 13th many people, jokingly or seriously, observe a day of potential bad luck to overcome them. As it is always wise to avoid potential dangers, people tend to be slightly more aware of them on a day like Friday the 13th. When bad things happen on this day, it is even blamed on the date.
Very interestingly, Friday the 13th is a day originally observed in countries which have a society based on Christian values and morals (even if the country in question does not inhabit a lot of Christians). With Westernization, this 'tradition' has kind of spread around the globe, but that is beside my point.
What I already hinted at is the connection there is with Friday the 13th and Christianity. In what way exactly are these connected? you may think. Well, allow me to give a brief history on the 'tradition' of Friday the 13th.

In the Bible, in Exodus, the 'exodus' (or escape) of the Israelites out of Egypt is described. This became a celebration observed annually by the Jews. On the 10th of the 1st month (which was March!) a lamb was to be selected. A few days later, on the evening of the 13th day (which was the beginning of the 14th of the month), the lamb was to be slaughtered and eaten. This was the celebration of Pascha, or Easter. The duration of the celebration was two days, because it depended on full moon, which couldn't always be pointed out very precisely (sometimes it was full moon during daytime, for example).
So when Jesus was going to celebrate Pascha with his apostles, it was actually the 12th of the month (on the Thursday evening), when he celebrated the first day of Pascha. This was because the 14th would be on the Saturday, which was a sabbath (a day on which no works were to be done). On this day, at the beginning of the 13th, he celebrated Pascha and afterwards he was captured. The day after, on Friday the 13th, he was sentenced with death and crucified.
This is the reason Friday the 13th became a day on which bad luck was said to overcome the people.

However, as a Christian, Friday the 13th should not be a bad luck day. On the contrary, it should be a day for celebration. A day to observe the great mercy God gave us! On a Friday the 13th, God offered His Son for us, to release us from the evil that had us all die. He took the death away from us by having His Son pay for our sins.
If Friday the 13th should be observed; His great mercy shall be the thing to celebrate.

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Facebook identity

Facebook 'stalking'... Who hasn't?!
Throughout my time on Facebook I've been doing quite some 'stalking' as well. Actually, Facebook stalking isn't actual stalking... (Unless you DO more than go through people's wall and pictures and notes and whatever info they have provided themselves). Just for the record, I never actually stalked anyone! ;)

Well, let's get to my main point.
As I'm quite familiar with the Facebook stalking, I noticed a few things. First of all, you may think you know someone better if you've seen their Facebook page... Which is not all that true. Sure, you can see that someone goes to parties, joins a hockey club, has many friends, posts a lot about their work, and so on.
The thing is, if someone does NOT post about parties, sport clubs, books, movies, work, whatever, they can still be into it. If I don't post about sports, that doesn't mean I'm not doing anything related to sports. So you can't but gather given information, you can't speculate at all. Also, there's different reasons someone might add for example a sports club to their 'likes'. Do they play, do they support, does someone they know play or support, do they like their posts, do they like someone who likes their posts? Not to mention people aren't always truthful on the internet (although this thing doesn't seem to be happening on Facebook a lot).
So, how would you know them?!

From the bits of information you can gather on someone's Facebook page, you can form some basic idea of what kind of person someone is. Here is the thing: whatever picture you paint of them, the only thing you are actually doing is putting them into a box...
Here are some example boxes: Bookworm without many friends, party animal whose ability to think is probably negatively affected by alcohol, sporty person who likes to travel, person who is obsessed with going to the gym and maintaining their body, selca king/queen whose immense fan base likes every single duckface photo they upload. And these are just a few of the boxes.
Admit it, we all know at least one person to fit in each of the above boxes. Which also immediately shows that the boxes do not define a person's being; they are merely a summary of 'symptoms', not even characteristics. Yet on Facebook it's only these kind of symptoms that are visible.

So next time you go Facebook stalking, remember you only see whatever traces someone left for you to see. Don't judge, just enjoy! ;) ㅋㅋㅋ

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Romance

I want to have a slow relationship which lasts until forever.
Not immediately, but when the time comes, I just want my guy to be there.
I want to fall in love slowly with a person who is not a Men's Health cover kind of guy.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and true beauty comes from inside.

When I fall in love I want us to be friends already, not strangers.
I want to fall in love with his soul and have butterflies giggling.
I'd tell him I don't mind if he'll grow bald at 27 or if his skin is scarred and sensitive.
Our relationship should be an oasis among the storms and the deserts of loneliness.

I want to feel freed by his presence and laugh into the sun.
No pressure to be someone or to keep a conversation on the roll.
I want to share my life, hopes, dreams, sorrows and all the rollercoasters I have and will be in.
We can laugh at silly things together or have deep conversations over coffee.
An unspoken but substantial trust and a bond so deep we understand the other at a glance.

I want to have a slow relationship with solid grounds and endless dreamy skies.
And the whole world shall be a field of flowers to walk in together.
I want to hold hands and share soft kisses on the cheeks.
Then when we dance to imaginative music, I want to whisper "I love you".
That, to me, is true romance.

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Happy New Year! =D

Let 2014 become a good year~!! =D
A good moment to start afresh and get things out of the pipeline and into action ^^

Okay, so here you're probably expecting the "new years resolutions"-talk...

Hmmm, to be honest, I think new years resolutions are sort of too meaningless for me to make them.
I don't think you need a special day to start working on things. I mean why shouldn't you do something about it when the idea first came up?
Of course a special day to start or stop doing something should give you an extra impuls in achieving what you set out to do. However the rate of people who actually achieve their new years resolution is so low (I read somewhere it's about 6%) that it wouldn't surprise me if special days for these goals actually worked against you in reality...

Having that said, I do have some things I want to work on this year (and I already was working on them in the previous year). The first is discipline (has been the case for... forever!) and the second is to fight procrastination! x'D That second one is very brave I think! ㅋㅋㅋ

A few practical goals I want to achieve in 2014 are:
- Get my bachelor degree.
- Post at least 5 posts a month.
- Write at least 1 short story.
- Work a parttime job.
- Find out which master degree to get.
- Have an awesome vacation in South Korea! (in January)

Weee~ And let's all be happy and stay happy!!!
Wish you all the best for this year and let's make it count!

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Short Story...?

So, I've been thinking of writing a short story these days...
I want to write according to a solid idea, but I can't seem to find the inspiration for that idea.
x'D It's a hopeless situation, I just need something special! ㅋㅋㅋ

*lalalala*

I actually posted on FB for random genres, situations, professions or objects, but the best (and only thing) I got was a scifi plot about an alien landing in Korea on a quest to find out what makes them tick...
I don't really understand the quest, but scifi isn't really my genre either. I don't know what to write about it, without bringing forth all types of cliches...

*sigh*

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Broken pencils are pointless...

Here's a list of some very funny lame jokes I found on the internet...:

- I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

- When chemists die, they barium.

- Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

- I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

- They wrote to me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

- We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

- I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

- I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

- All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

- Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

- A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

- The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.

- Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

Sorry for your good sense of humor, I may have ruined it with this... x'D

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Yummy smells~

*Random post ahead, be warned* ;)

For some reason I got to thinking about smells...
There are some smells that I always love to smell and that make me happy in one sense or another.
Here are some of the smells I absolutely love:

♥- Vanilla sugar: My mum uses this every Friday for the pancakes and I can't help smiling when I pick up and smell the paper packets the sugar comes from. =] I have a weak for that smell.

♥- Tea or Perfume stores: Simply heaven, especially when it's cold outside or raining. To enter a store with a flowery or sweet scent makes me feel so happy. =3

♥- Rain on dry earth scent: There's even a noun for that scent; Petrichor. I find it so nice that when on hot summer days it ends with rain, thunder and lightning. Then when that too has passed, to fall asleep with that lovely smell coming from my opened windows. Hmmm ^^

♥- Rose syrup in milk: The scent reminds me of my Chinese grandma. I have no idea why, she may have made the beverage for me a lot when I was little, or she may have worn a perfume with that scent, I can't remember. It's just the scent that brings me happy memories I can't remember x'D If that even makes sense.

♥- Kretek cigarettes: I don't smoke and I would never do that either, but the smell of these Indonesian cigarettes I do love a lot. My grandpa has had a time he liked to smoke these and my dad has also tried these. These cigarettes have herbs in them; clove, which makes them smell good =) However they're still cigarettes, so no good for the lungs and all xP

♥- Various foods. This is a given, but there are some foods I love to smell in particular; my mum's split pea soup, baked leek dish and macaroni. ^^ And BAKING!! =D Especially cookies and cake, or sweet buns from the bakery. x'D I love to smell food~

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Introduction Camp

Next week a new semester at uni will start off with introduction lessons for the 1st year students and empty schedules for the 2nd year students. x'D

To give the 1st year students a good chance to get to know each other, Tanuki (my study association) organized a camp for them.
As a 2nd year student I was able to join the camp with one of my best friends (who is also my classmate) and lead the 1st year Korean students.
Tanuki is there for Japanese and Korean Studies, but since Korean Studies is seriously outnumbered by their Japanese counterpart, J and I tried to be representatives for our study as best as we could! =)

Oh, and I did something that gave me a full week of aching muscles last year...
I attended a Yosakoi workshop! Yosakoi is a pretty stamina-building Japanese folk dance. Even though "folk dance" may sound boring or lame, Yosakoi is very much the opposite! It's very energetic and fun to watch and if you participate it's good for your stamina and flexibility. And it's something you do as a team, so it's socially rewarding as well! ^^
Although I have legs that are sore from muscle ache right now, I joined the Yosakoi team and I'm going to practise at least once a week (max 3 times a week) with them! It'll be killing at first, but so awesome when I'll become stronger, more flexible and loose~ xP

Here's a dance I partially learned during the workshop, called "Soran Bushi". This dance is physically the most exhausting, they told me. x]


My books for the new semester have arrived!! =D Can we then now start the new semester?? *blink blink* ^^

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

5 Love Languages

Some time ago I found this interesting article.
As you may have guessed from earlier posts, I'm quite interested in the human mind and psyche. Not surprisingly I want to talk about this psychological article! =)

Apparently there are 5 love languages. Generally people "speak" one of the following 5 languages:

1. Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

2. Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

3. Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

4. Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

5. Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

One of the ways to make a relationship work is learning to speak the other's love language.

My love language is something between Quality Time and Physical Touch. I absolutely love back hugs! And dancing is definitely something I want to do with my future boyfriend (unless of course he can't or has no interest). To me it wouldn't matter just what we do, as long as we see each other regularly. I don't need to hear "I love you" every time, as long as I feel it through actions and attention. I'm not so much a kisser, but I love holding hands and hugs ^-^
Ah, and the atmosphere should be playful and full of purpose, not heavy with romance... x) I guess I'm cheesy, not romantic.

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Source: 5 Love languages

Shy...

It's one of the things I've been struggling with since ages~!
When I look back I realize I've come a long way already, but I'm still not satisfied with where I am now...
Let me tell you something about my life... :)

I was born first of my family's next generation. Having no siblings or cousins, I was used to grownups around me. After one and a half year, my sister was born. Since she was still too young to play with, I continued playing with grownups or on my own.

At the age of 4 (when my sister and I had grown so close we were inseparable), I went to school for the first time. I wasn't homesick, but I had a hard time getting used to being surrounded with so many kids of my age. I didn't play or talk, I just sat and watched them, trying to figure things out. I must have been boring for them. So, naturally I didn't make any real friends and spent most of my time alone. I don't recall ever being sad about it, though. And my mum told me that I had said it was fun and that I had lots of stories to tell, when she asked me about school.

In the first few years of "Basic School*", kids usually ignore the "different" kids, because they play with the kids they like. However, in the 3rd or 4th grade the picking on these kids begins. And so I, too, was being picked on. Not often, there were days nothing happened, but usually they would give me nasty looks, comments, joke about me or gossip. I wasn't much fun to pick on probably, because I would just ignore them. I never fought back and I never cried in front of them. I was just too shy. Apart from the usual, there were these more serious incidents too. Once, they even tried to beat me up, I think. They came with a group of around 6 boys and circled around me until I stood against the wall of the school. It was when I was waiting for my sister to go home for lunch. I can't exactly remember anymore. I don't think anyone threw a punch, but I don't remember how it ended. Maybe it had been a threat only? At that time I had no confidence in myself, I thought I was ugly and weird. At home I felt best, because none of it mattered and I could be my happy self. I had one best friend who understood me and cared about me no matter what, that friend was my sister.

When I went to "Middle School*", I knew nobody and was determined to leave the past behind me and start afresh. Something told me it wasn't my fault I wasn't liked at my previous school. And I did make quite some friends at my first day already! I was so happy, but I was also terrified of losing them. To be more specific, I was afraid they would stop liking me. I was shy, so I couldn't dominate the attention (which was actually a good thing), but the strain of staying their friend was so high it kept me from being me. Which made me a silent shell of a human. (Basically I wasn't much different from my very first day at Basic School). I didn't know what my peers did in their free time, I didn't know what the majority liked, fore I hadn't had much contact with anyone else than my sister. Between us there had developed a completely different culture of interests. So in my first year of Middle School I learned a lot of social stuff; I finally learned how to interact with my peers, but I was far from socially active. The strain of trying to tie my friends to me was too heavy and I ended up losing all but 2 of my original group of friends. They just lost interest and as of now, I realize that even these 2 have never been true friends. They, just like me, needed someone to be with. I think that part of my shyness and inability to open up to be me made it impossible for me to make true friends. Although there is one friend I made on my own that year, who I still regard as a true friend and that is L. With her time doesn't change our friendship. Even if we haven't seen each other for months, it's like there hasn't been any passing of time in between. In the first 2 years of Middle School we were in different classes, but the 3rd and 4th year we were classmates and pretty inseparable too! We had a nice class (in my opinion). I was generally liked, but the class was divided in groups still. L was less liked, because in our class she was most "different". I feel like we understood each other.

In the years after, I got better and better at interacting with people. With that came more confidence in myself and I forgot about ever finding myself ugly. Then there was this small incident that even proved to me that I wasn't ugly. Years after Basic School I ran into an old classmate of my sister who used to bully me and he kind of gaped at me in disbelief asking whether it really was me. x) And there was my Dutch teacher (kind of a creeper, though) at "Middle Professional Education*" who said that I had no reason to feel shy because I was 'intelligent and beautiful'... That year was a bad year though, because I made a stupid mistake by telling a teacher my friends were ditching class. I didn't tell it on purpose, I was just being honest, but I didn't realize what I had done. These friends had actually never been my friends to begin with... And so I sat in class alone again.

After that I continued making friends and losing them again as I didn't make many true friends, except for a few of them.

And then WOVOX happened. I was just looking for a company to have some professional training. Never could I have foreseen the turning point they resembled in my life. Because of the company's freedom policy and the attitudes of the people working there, I could be myself and I knew I was accepted for being myself. Actually, it was better to be myself, I needed to be myself in order for things to work well. And it was such a relief! =) Finally I had the courage to be there, to open up to the world. It brings me energy to be the happy me. I made a vow never to close up again, because it is actually a lot harder to live that way.

Even though sometimes I still feel like taking a step back and crawling back into the shadows of safety. I know that is a cowardly feeling and it's not doing me well, but I don't think I'll ever lose my shyness completely.
When meeting new people I really have to push myself to talk to them. I know all the opportunities and good things there are to meeting new people, but it's also scaring me to talk to people I don't know. Usually it's even scaring me to talk to people I know but am not that close to (anymore).
I hope to learn how to act natural in front of people that intimidate me, someday. I want to be able to have casual contact also with people who I'm awkward with. Even if the awkwardness will never go, I do want to be able to hide it.

* We have a different schooling system. From age 4 - 12, one goes to "Basic School", then from age 12 - 16/17/18 one attends "Middle School", which is followed by either "Middle Professional Education", "Higher Professional Education" or "University". I translated the Dutch names to English ones.

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Happy Panda~! ^^

This week has been a good week for me! =D

I'm having fun time with friends, good results in my study and I'm taking up playing the piano again! =)

The downside is that I'm having some trouble getting enough sleep... ^^"
Someone told me once; there are three things for a student, but you can only pick two.
1. Good grades
2. A social life
3. Enough sleep

So, I guess you can say I picked good grades and a social life... ^^" I usually don't sleep enough. ㄱ.ㄱ
Besides these three things I also try to spend some time on hobbies. I mentioned I started playing the piano again and I also have my embroidery to finish... And that's not all, I want to write and draw too... xD
There should be 25 hours in a day, no, make that a good 40 hours in a day, with less than a third needed on sleep ;)

Come to think of it, we humans haven't got very sustainable batteries... xP We need a third of our life to charge and that's not all, we have to feed too... We also have a ridiculously (s)low memory (even if compared to a simple MP3). But, we can develop, something no device can do by itself (yet)! ^^"
Sorry, this is horribly off-topic! ㅋㅋㅋ

^^ Something fun happened on the 6th (of March, this year). One of our classmates prepared song texts to K-pop songs! =) And so we ended up watching a 2PM MV ("10 out of 10") in class! xP Our Korean teacher helped us with the translation of the chorus and then we sang it together! ^^ 아주 재미있었어요! So much fun, because our Korean teacher is around 50 years old, I think, but she really seems to like these kind of things still! =]

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

Efteling (delayed post)

^^ Yay, first post in February! =D

Yesterday I went to the Efteling (an amusement park with a theme of fairies, witches, trolls, Laafs and such)! =)
It was a lot of fun, I went with people from the various commissions of my study association. We were with 16 people. ^^
There was the so-called "Winter-Efteling", which meant that the park was especially decorated and accustomed for the Winter. The ironic thing was that yesterday also the first real snow has fallen! =) In January some snow had already fallen, but it were just a few flakes and they barely stayed on the ground without melting. So yesterday, when the real snow fell, the scenery was really pretty and cold...
^^ I got to know a few more people, and some other people I got to know even better! =)
In the beginning we went to every attraction with all of us, but after a while it become difficult and burdensome to wait for everyone to gather, so we broke up in 2 groups.
With the group I stayed in, we were with 8, we pretty much went in every attraction available. A few attractions were closed (the outside roller coasters and everything that involved water), but at the attractions that were opened there were no rows, we could just walk through. ^^ So I've been in the VogelRock (an indoor roller coaster). It was so much fun! J, a friend of mine went in too, but she's scared of roller coasters, so she screamed almost the complete ride xD She taped it... It was so funny, although you can't see a thing, because it's dark in there, you can hear her scream. "No, no, no, (x20) no- AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH *breathing* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"
I also went with 5/8 into a swinging boat (Vliegende Hollander), it was so relaxing! xD At first, everyone lifted their hands up when going up, but in the end, I was the only one still doing that.. xD Turned out they all felt scared a little, I wasn't.. Which I thought was really surprising, because when I was 13 I still was scared to death for anything daring in amusement parks! So how come I went from scared person to complete daredevil within 8 years?!

Scary things weren't the only attractions we went in.. ^^ We also visited the "Fata Morgana" (An indoor attraction in which you go by boat through a scenery of Oriental and Middle Eastern scenes). It was really pretty~ ^^ There were tigers and belly dancers and flute players and all sorts of daily life scenes of the (rather stereotypical) wealthy village in the Middle East. I've never been in the Middle East ever, so I can't really tell whether they exist like that, or whether it's just our Dutch view on the Middle East (in peace times).

And of course we've also been in the "Droom Vlucht" (some sort of roller coaster that's slow, showing various scenes of fairies, trolls and all sorts of forest creatures). It's one of my favorite attractions, because it's so beautifully made and it's like entering another world for a bit. ^^
That day we did a lot more, but it's difficult to tell everything... If you live in or near the Netherlands, I really advise you to visit the theme park yourself! =) It's the Efteling in Kaatsheuvel.

Because of all the lovely snow, the public transport was completely disturbed. =( Around 1PM, we heard trains weren't riding as they should and Utrecht (which is in the middle of our country) was completely blocked. When we left the park at 6PM, we though things would be better... Well, we thought wrong!
We waited for half an hour for a bus that would bring us from Kaatsheuvel to Den Bosch train station. In Den Bosch we decided to check for trains first and then get some food. There wasn't any problem there... Me and J ordered together and I carried our food until the train arrived at the station, that's where trouble arose. I knew we (me, J and K) had to catch the train, but because of all those people, I lost sight of them, so I just got on the train. Since I still carried J's food, I had to find her! Otherwise I'd probably just send a text saying I'll meet them at the station we had to get out. J thought the same because she called me and I saw K waving her arms, 3 compartments away. The train was so incredibly packed that it took me a lot of effort getting one compartment closer to them. But that wasn't enough... I had 2 left to go (at that time I thought it was only one more). At the next stop I'd try again, I thought, but during the next stop, I was pushed away and so before I could try again, every passage was already blocked. The stop after that, I tried going via the outside. That worked, but now I noticed they were one compartment more away! I couldn't go outside anymore, I had to get through via the inside! Luckily people were making way for me and I could reach my friends! =D
Unfortunately, more trouble was coming our way... K could take a train to her parents' house, but J and I were still over an hour away from our homes. In Utrecht, traffic was still blocked... We waited for a long time before we could take a train that would bring us just a little closer to our hometowns. Eventually, Y, J's boyfriend (with whom she lives together) came to pick us up from the train station we were stranded on, which was actually half an hour driving from J & Y's house.
My dad would come pick me up from their house, but my mum thought it was better if I stayed over there and then have my dad pick me up the day after, because he had to be in that city anyway! Luckily it was no problem and we had fun during our little sleepover. =)

And still drama wasn't over... When I began writing this story, I was still at J & Y's place, waiting for my dad to pick me up. HE NEVER PICKED ME UP!!! I went to the city and met J's mum when doing grocery shopping and having coffee. My dad called, he was waiting for the "wegenwacht" (the road service) because he had car trouble. He called several times and my mum told me it'd be better if I just tried taking the train... Eventually I got home by train, before my father got home... We have a new car now.

~~~~~X~~~x~~~X~~~~~
*~Maria

10 insights about "heated arguments"

A few days ago I was a witness to an adult argument (read: childish argument between adults)...
It was an ugly heated argument between two women at the age of 50/60, who don't really like each other. I won't repeat what has been said...
However I kept thinking about all the things about arguments my mum has taught me.
I find these insights very helpful to remember when I notice I'm about to argue (I only argue with my sister though x])
So, I decided to share them! =)

1. An argument is always 2 (or more) people's fault.
One can't argue by him/herself. "(S)he started..." is just a prelude to "and I continued." If the other doesn't respond to it in a heated way, it can never turn into an argument, it'll just stay a nasty comment.

2. One can't make the other do/think/stop something.
At some point in an ugly heated argument someone will tell the other to stop the arguing or question the other why (s)he doesn't stop. This has absolutely no use, it will only cause another response.

3. One cannot win an argument, ever!
It doesn't matter how many times one repeats their opinion in whatever new way, the other will never fully (or even partially) admit to agree.

4. Everyone talks, but nobody really listens.
Yes, they'll listens to each other's words, just to find something to disagree on next...

5. Rooted irritation surfaces.
Really heated arguments usually aren't because the topic of their argument is so dear to them. It usually is fueled by irritations that finally come to burst in confrontation. It can be a certain attitude one can't stand from the other or earlier events that caused the other to get irritated.

6. The last word is the word of the "winner".
And so the argument will turn into a battle of the last word. The results will be ugly and they'll say mean things that they don't mean.

7. Physical fighting is a sign of fear.
When one feels likely to lose the "battle of the last word", they might use physical strength to claim their dominance in the argument.

8. Calling names is also a sign of fear.
However, besides it being a display of dominance (by humiliating the other) out of fear, it can also be some sort of reassurance of having the last word and being the "winner". This is an illusion however, because calling names will definitely urge the other to respond.

9. Adults in heated arguments lose their dignity.
When adults fight in an ugly, childish way, their dignity is completely ruined in the face of the onlookers and each other. They'll just look ridiculous and should know better than to behave in such a immature way.

10. There is no satisfaction.
Although it might feel releasing at first, it will be gone in the end. Even when the other "loses" by crying or withdrawing, the "winner" won't feel like a winner. Instead, they'll feel like a dignity-deprived, guilty loser.

The best thing to do when you're in an argument; just stop arguing when you notice the other (or you) is heated. Although it's a tough thing to do, stop talking. If you can do that, start searching for agreements on the topic and comment on those. =)
In an argument we easily forget the things we agree on and hammer instead on the things we disagree on, making it look like there's no agreement at all.

=D But best of all: don't argue~ ^^ ♥

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*~Maria